Sunday, February 26, 2012

I Wonder Sometimes

I wonder sometimes if I'm manic-depressive. There are days when I feel the urge to organize everything around me. I wake up at a reasonable hour. I cull the files on my computer. I make schedules that account for reading and exercise and writing time. I even block out times to watch television programs and listen to certain podcasts that I enjoy. Inevitably, none of those things ever happen and I fall into a period of time when I let the garbage pile up around me, empty food wrappers and aluminum cans stacked on my desk next to an overflowing ash tray.  Waking up at noon and going to bed at dawn. Spending most of my waking hours playing video games and watching pornography.

I wonder sometimes why people who own dogs let the animal lick them in the face! I mean seriously!? He just got done licking his own balls after eating out of the garbage and washing it down with some toilet water! I mean, I don't let most people stick their tongue in my mouth, why would make such allowances for an animal!

I wonder sometimes why, if God is real, does He allow people to believe He isn't?! Sure! I have a lot of other questions about God. But, let us assume for the moment that there is actually an all-seeing, all-knowing being that created the universe and made man in His own image. Wouldn't He check in at least once in a lifetime to assure everybody that things are going according to plan? Of course, that might lead to a whole heap of questions about what exactly the plan is, seeing as it kinda looks like chaos from down here!

I wonder sometimes who it is at work that keeps putting the toilet paper on the roll the wrong way. It goes OVER! ALWAYS OVER! Who doesn't know that!?

I wonder sometimes if the sharp increase in cases of autism isn't a result of the increased ability and need to diagnose and identify things! Basically, is it statistics or is it semantics?  How many deaf and dumb people were locked up in some upstairs room before we called it "autism"!? 

I wonder sometimes if people actually read the crap that I post on this blog. I wonder because I keep asking for comments and I've only ever gotten two (2). BTW, Thanks for the feedback Rick and Kenny-B!

I wonder sometimes about the cognitive dissonance that causes poor people to vote Republican when the GOP has made it abundantly clear that it's only interested in giving tax cuts to the people who can most afford to pay more. Oh, and let's not even get into all the things that we (the NOT rich) would have to put up with in exchange for those tax cuts... OK, let's get into it a little bit: cut funding for public schools, raise the retirement age, higher healthcare costs, and stagnant wages. And let us not forget the most deplorable/diabolical/despicable thing... (no, not thinly veiled racism towards the man currently in The Oval Office) ... less Prairie Home Companion and Sesame Street, more Kardashians!*gasping in shocked horror

I wonder sometimes if Jurassic Park will become a reality first or will it be Terminator. And if Terminator becomes reality first, will we go through brief periods of RoboCop or Lawnmower Man to get there! I mean, they did discover that volcanically preserved 300 million year old forest in Mongolia and who knows what we'll find in there... not to mention the possibility of an actual cloned wooly mammoth sometime in the next decade (I'm dead serious, Google that shit!). Put that against the idea that scientists in Australia have recently (very recently) created an atom sized transistor. Giving further creedence to Moore's Law and heralding the possible rise of Quantum Computing...which, if that happened, would shatter any limitation on the development of artificial intelligence...well, any limitation except those which we impose upon ourselves and, let's face it, we really don't like denying ourselves much of anything if we can get it! 

I wonder sometimes if women really want to be equal. I mean EQUAL equal! For instance, I've met women who want equal pay for equal work. And that's fair, I'm all for that! But those same women still expect a man to pay on the first date, open doors, not hit her back if she strikes him in anger! Believe me, I'm ALL for equality, but you don't get to choose WHEN you're equal!

I wonder sometimes why I'm still single!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Ship Porn

I do love my science-fiction. As a genre it is uniquely capable of re-telling the oldest stories while simultaneously igniting our imaginations and inventing something never before dreamt of and, by virtue of its popularity, making those concepts part of the public consciousness. How uqibuitous are ideas of "Robots" and "Teleporters" today!? From Verne, to Asimov and Roddenberry, to Whedon and Moffat... science fiction continuously redefines how we percieve and concieve of the universe! But, if you paid attention to the title, there's one particular thing I'd like to talk about today! The ever dependable choice of cinematographers on programmes and movies featuring space faring cast members to provide us with gorgeous shots of the exterior of the ship! SHIP PORN! Make no mistake, this is a fetish! There are pretty ships, and ugly ships... from a purely design aesthetic point of view. But from a much more visceral stance, there are cool looking ships, and dumpy lookin space tubs. Ships can be sexy, imposing, cute, sporty, or any number of adjectives...some of which may even be appropriate to use in describing a woman! If there is a space ship in a T.V. Show or movie, or video game, you have seen the outside of it! And the point of this post is to go through a few of my personal favorites!

Featured in Doctor Who and although it's not strictly a space ship, The Doctor's Typre 40 Time And Relative Dimension In Space certainly qualifies in so far as it can move through space without moving through time! Also, technically, it falls into the category of "space tub" considering that it is beyond old! Let me put it this way! If  at he beginning of the series in which it was featured the Battlestar Galactica was recently decommissioned like, say for instance, a mid 90's JEEP... the TARDIS is like a Model T Ford! Going back to the "first" Doctor, it was a museum piece! But that doesn't necessarily make it ugly! Sure, the Chameleon Circuit got stuck on "Police Box" God knows how long ago, but that is undeniably a part of its charm! Being "bigger on the inside" makes it not unlike The Doctor himself in that there is so much more to it that may appear at first glance! And once you get inside. BOY HOWDY! Amongst "living ships", it's easily among the most impressive!

On the topic of living ships, you can't overlook MOYA! This Leviathan (a symbiotic and servile species) serves as the ship of John Crichton and company in the glorious series FARSCAPE! She (because like all good ships, she is a "She") is really impressive! Capable of Star Bursting over incredibly large distances, Moya is more than a pretty piece of astro-tech. With the exception of a particular episode of Doctor Who, Moya is more of a character than any other ship I can think of (feel free to disagree on this point in the comments). So much so, that SHE GIVES BIRTH to another Leviathan! And if you can overlook the insect like appearance that seems to be inherent in bio-mechanoid creations, she's really quite sleek! 

If you didn't think I was going to move on to the other insect lookin ship that everyone loves...! That's right, The central hub of everything that happened on the cult classic (I guess that's appropriate) space opera, FIREFLY... this "Midbulk transport, standard radion-accelerator core, classcode 03-K64, Firefly" (hence title) is easily the smallest of my favorite ships...(not counting the TARDIS again...)! Captained by Malcolm Reynolds, she's a smuggling vessel, passenger/cargo transport, and a home! And for an unarmed ship (although the crew is armed to the teeth) she does a heck of a lot of damage...particularly to the pride of jack-booted Alliance muckety-mucks who just can't seem to catch this pretty little thing! 

In truth, this is the one that inspired this post! I recently re-watched Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and I was struck by just how much time they spent showing me the ship! A good six minutes was spent, just panning across various sections of the hull! When I was five years old, Saturday morning was all about waking up early, making scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast and watching movies with my dad! This was one of em, and it's stuck with me ever since. And while Serenity may be my favorite ship (the TARDIS doesn't count as a ship in this case, it's in a class all by itself) I still have a special place in my heart for The Enterprise (not unlike Kirk himself). She's like my first spaceship love! Without a doubt, she popped my Ship Porn cherry!

So that's my short list! I left it short because A.) I'm lazy! and B.) I really do want to know what some of your favorites are! leave a comment down below!