I Had A Dream

For those of you expecting to find something inspirational or at all related to Dr. King...I'm sorry. This really is mostly just about how I had a dream a few nights ago. I waited to write about it because it took me a couple of days to really think out what I wanted to say about it. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves! First, the dream: [insert wavy dream sequence effect here]


I find myself walking into a club, past the velvet rope, into some kind of private function. The sense that these are actors, that they are dressed well, as am I (I do look good in a tux, if I do say so myself) leads me to believe that this is some kind of awards show after-party. None of the faces were really clear, so I can't say who all was at my dream party. Well, that's not entirely true... some amalgamation of people was off to my left which represented the cast of Glee... ... ... the bar was to my right! As I recall my dream, I was about to make my way to the bar when a "louder than the general murmur of people talking" laugh caught my attention. I turn to look and my eyes focus in on Naya Rivera! I remember dreaming her in a red gown...a form fitting, off the shoulder number... I blame that on The Hunger Games... the book, not the movie, I had just finished reading it, and all that stuff was still fresh in my head. But I digress. As I was saying, I saw her, she was laughing, a great smile all across her face. And I was hooked! Now, I've gotta say, I don't really watch Glee...I've seen a couple of the songs on youtube, and while I don't deny that there's a level of talent there, it's just not my jam. But I'm aware of the program, and I'm particularly aware of her being the best looking one on the show (IM not so HO).  So I walk over and this is the exchange that takes place between the two of us:

Brother Arson: Hi! can I get you a drink?

Naya Rivera: I've already got one! Thanks!

BA: Well, can I get you another one?

NR: I can get my own drinks.

BA: I'm sure you can, but it's not really a drink that I'd be getting!

NR: ... Then what is it?

BA: Well, you see, the drink is merely a gateway to a conversation. A conversation which could lead to... dinner next week!? Which would of course come with more conversation. And that could lead to another dinner, with more conversation. That would likely lead to a night out dancing. We could try and squeeze in some more conversation if you like, between songs maybe, but it's really mostly about the dancing cuz dancing is fun! After that could be... Oh I don't know, an art show, a picnic, mini-golf!? Hard to say really, it's kinda far down the road! At any rate, if you string enough of those events together, they lead to what I have been led to believe is referred to as "a relationship".  Of course, that entire realm of possibilities is predicated on you letting me get you a drink right now! So, what do ya say?

NR: And why me?

BA: Because you're pretty!

NR: And that's enough?

BA: It's enough for me to offer a drink! Whether the conversation which follows convinces me to ask you out to dinner next week still remains to be seen!

NR: ...OK! I'll have a whiskey sour!

That's where I wake up! It's a nice little dream! But don't get it twisted, I'm well aware that it'll never ever happen! Wealthy as I am, I don't see myself being in California anytime soon. Nor do I think I'd be invited to some fancy schmancy Hollywood type party! Even if I did and I were, I know it wouldn't go down like that! Here's how it would likely happen in reality!

I walk into the party...I notice her laughing and smiling. I smile to myself, thinking "Wow, she looks great!" and then I turn and walk to the bar and spend the night drinking half a bottle of scotch, by my-damn-self!

I'm not saying I wouldn't be personable if somebody came up to me! I've met Kevin Bacon and Ric Flair and the wife of a candidate for the Republican nomination for Presiden turned talk show host (the candidate, not the wife) and not been star struck. There's no reason to believe that I couldn't carry on a conversation with NPH or Jimmy Fallon or Tina Fey or Olivia Munn or some such person or persons if they approached me. But I know good and well, I'm not the type to initiate those encounters. It's not that I'm terribly shy... I mean, I share stuff with y'all that I don't generally tell people about. And yes, that may be in part because I am afforded a degree of anonimity by the internet... combined with my own ability to believe that nobody is actually reading this stuff. 

So, not "shy"! "Reserved", I think would be a better way of describing me in public. I do spend a fair amount of time observing...and there's something distasteful about expending a great deal of effort to engage in ultimately fruitless conversation just for the sake of being personable! Besides, I've only got so many minutes on my cell phone plan to spend talking about...whatever! Not to mention, between this and twitter, I can tell and show and share just about everything I would if we were in the same place at the same time. I'm not saying that reading my blog is the same as meeting me...but it's damn close. I don't lie to y'all, and Lord knows it's random enough to preclude me doing all this just to push some kind of agenda! 


At any rate! No question attached, no asking for your opinions in the comments! Just saying, I had this dream a few nights ago, figured I'd share it, and some of the stuff it made me think about!

I Wonder Sometimes

I wonder sometimes if I'm manic-depressive. There are days when I feel the urge to organize everything around me. I wake up at a reasonable hour. I cull the files on my computer. I make schedules that account for reading and exercise and writing time. I even block out times to watch television programs and listen to certain podcasts that I enjoy. Inevitably, none of those things ever happen and I fall into a period of time when I let the garbage pile up around me, empty food wrappers and aluminum cans stacked on my desk next to an overflowing ash tray.  Waking up at noon and going to bed at dawn. Spending most of my waking hours playing video games and watching pornography.


I wonder sometimes why people who own dogs let the animal lick them in the face! I mean seriously!? He just got done licking his own balls after eating out of the garbage and washing it down with some toilet water! I mean, I don't let most people stick their tongue in my mouth, why would make such allowances for an animal!


I wonder sometimes why, if God is real, does He allow people to believe He isn't?! Sure! I have a lot of other questions about God. But, let us assume for the moment that there is actually an all-seeing, all-knowing being that created the universe and made man in His own image. Wouldn't He check in at least once in a lifetime to assure everybody that things are going according to plan? Of course, that might lead to a whole heap of questions about what exactly the plan is, seeing as it kinda looks like chaos from down here!



I wonder sometimes who it is at work that keeps putting the toilet paper on the roll the wrong way. It goes OVER! ALWAYS OVER! Who doesn't know that!?



I wonder sometimes if the sharp increase in cases of autism isn't a result of the increased ability and need to diagnose and identify things! Basically, is it statistics or is it semantics?  How many deaf and dumb people were locked up in some upstairs room before we called it "autism"!? 



I wonder sometimes if people actually read the crap that I post on this blog. I wonder because I keep asking for comments and I've only ever gotten two (2). BTW, Thanks for the feedback Rick and Kenny-B!



I wonder sometimes about the cognitive dissonance that causes poor people to vote Republican when the GOP has made it abundantly clear that it's only interested in giving tax cuts to the people who can most afford to pay more. Oh, and let's not even get into all the things that we (the NOT rich) would have to put up with in exchange for those tax cuts... OK, let's get into it a little bit: cut funding for public schools, raise the retirement age, higher healthcare costs, and stagnant wages. And let us not forget the most deplorable/diabolical/despicable thing... (no, not thinly veiled racism towards the man currently in The Oval Office) ... less Prairie Home Companion and Sesame Street, more Kardashians!*gasping in shocked horror* 


I wonder sometimes if Jurassic Park will become a reality first or will it be Terminator. And if Terminator becomes reality first, will we go through brief periods of RoboCop or Lawnmower Man to get there! I mean, they did discover that volcanically preserved 300 million year old forest in Mongolia and who knows what we'll find in there... not to mention the possibility of an actual cloned wooly mammoth sometime in the next decade (I'm dead serious, Google that shit!). Put that against the idea that scientists in Australia have recently (very recently) created an atom sized transistor. Giving further creedence to Moore's Law and heralding the possible rise of Quantum Computing...which, if that happened, would shatter any limitation on the development of artificial intelligence...well, any limitation except those which we impose upon ourselves and, let's face it, we really don't like denying ourselves much of anything if we can get it! 



I wonder sometimes if women really want to be equal. I mean EQUAL equal! For instance, I've met women who want equal pay for equal work. And that's fair, I'm all for that! But those same women still expect a man to pay on the first date, open doors, not hit her back if she strikes him in anger! Believe me, I'm ALL for equality, but you don't get to choose WHEN you're equal!


I wonder sometimes why I'm still single!

Ship Porn

I do love my science-fiction. As a genre it is uniquely capable of re-telling the oldest stories while simultaneously igniting our imaginations and inventing something never before dreamt of and, by virtue of its popularity, making those concepts part of the public consciousness. How uqibuitous are ideas of "Robots" and "Teleporters" today!? From Verne, to Asimov and Roddenberry, to Whedon and Moffat... science fiction continuously redefines how we percieve and concieve of the universe! But, if you paid attention to the title, there's one particular thing I'd like to talk about today! The ever dependable choice of cinematographers on programmes and movies featuring space faring cast members to provide us with gorgeous shots of the exterior of the ship! SHIP PORN! Make no mistake, this is a fetish! There are pretty ships, and ugly ships... from a purely design aesthetic point of view. But from a much more visceral stance, there are cool looking ships, and dumpy lookin space tubs. Ships can be sexy, imposing, cute, sporty, or any number of adjectives...some of which may even be appropriate to use in describing a woman! If there is a space ship in a T.V. Show or movie, or video game, you have seen the outside of it! And the point of this post is to go through a few of my personal favorites!


The TARDIS
Featured in Doctor Who and although it's not strictly a space ship, The Doctor's Typre 40 Time And Relative Dimension In Space certainly qualifies in so far as it can move through space without moving through time! Also, technically, it falls into the category of "space tub" considering that it is beyond old! Let me put it this way! If  at he beginning of the series in which it was featured the Battlestar Galactica was recently decommissioned like, say for instance, a mid 90's JEEP... the TARDIS is like a Model T Ford! Going back to the "first" Doctor, it was a museum piece! But that doesn't necessarily make it ugly! Sure, the Chameleon Circuit got stuck on "Police Box" God knows how long ago, but that is undeniably a part of its charm! Being "bigger on the inside" makes it not unlike The Doctor himself in that there is so much more to it that may appear at first glance! And once you get inside. BOY HOWDY! Amongst "living ships", it's easily among the most impressive!

MOYA
On the topic of living ships, you can't overlook MOYA! This Leviathan (a symbiotic and servile species) serves as the ship of John Crichton and company in the glorious series FARSCAPE! She (because like all good ships, she is a "She") is really impressive! Capable of Star Bursting over incredibly large distances, Moya is more than a pretty piece of astro-tech. With the exception of a particular episode of Doctor Who, Moya is more of a character than any other ship I can think of (feel free to disagree on this point in the comments). So much so, that SHE GIVES BIRTH to another Leviathan! And if you can overlook the insect like appearance that seems to be inherent in bio-mechanoid creations, she's really quite sleek! 

SERENITY
If you didn't think I was going to move on to the other insect lookin ship that everyone loves...! That's right, The central hub of everything that happened on the cult classic (I guess that's appropriate) space opera, FIREFLY... this "Midbulk transport, standard radion-accelerator core, classcode 03-K64, Firefly" (hence title) is easily the smallest of my favorite ships...(not counting the TARDIS again...)! Captained by Malcolm Reynolds, she's a smuggling vessel, passenger/cargo transport, and a home! And for an unarmed ship (although the crew is armed to the teeth) she does a heck of a lot of damage...particularly to the pride of jack-booted Alliance muckety-mucks who just can't seem to catch this pretty little thing! 

USS ENTERPRISE NCC-1701-A
In truth, this is the one that inspired this post! I recently re-watched Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and I was struck by just how much time they spent showing me the ship! A good six minutes was spent, just panning across various sections of the hull! When I was five years old, Saturday morning was all about waking up early, making scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast and watching movies with my dad! This was one of em, and it's stuck with me ever since. And while Serenity may be my favorite ship (the TARDIS doesn't count as a ship in this case, it's in a class all by itself) I still have a special place in my heart for The Enterprise (not unlike Kirk himself). She's like my first spaceship love! Without a doubt, she popped my Ship Porn cherry!

So that's my short list! I left it short because A.) I'm lazy! and B.) I really do want to know what some of your favorites are! leave a comment down below!

Paranoia or Prudence

So, there's a few things that irk me! I've already discussed my biggest fear, and these aren't nearly on the same level but, they are things that I am fearful of. I've thought about them from time to time and I've vascillated between justifying them and ignoring them. But I'd like to put the question to you... am I just being paranoid, or am I being prudent!

Perhaps most notably, I don't like it when there are people walking behind me! Actually, I'm not altogether comfortable with having people behind me in general! That feeling of being watched...it just bothers the hell out of me! I do my very best when entering a room, to find a place where I can put my back against a wall. If I'm walking down a sidewalk or a hall, I'll stop randomly and push up against the wall, allowing those who were behind me to pass. It's worst when I'm driving! If I notice a car that makes two or more of the same turns as I do behind me, I get genuinely nervous! "WHY ARE THEY FOLLOWING ME!?" Even when I'm walking with my friends though, I find myself moving off to the side or filtering towards the back of the group. I've accepted that there are certain situations where there are just going to be people behind me! It's not like I go to any great lengths to avoid being in crowds or anything! Although I do recall deciding very specifically to move along the edge of them on more than one occassion. And I did fine in marching band where there was usually a hell of a lot of stuff going on behind me.


That particular..."quirk" may stem from a bully in the 6th grade who came up behind me on the way back from lunch and pushed my head into a wall....Or it may just be any number of movies I've seen where some unsuspecting shmuck gets attacked from behind...not unlike myself in the 6th grade... But I digress! I like being able to see the people around me. That way, I know the group of white guys walking through the Horseshoe at midnight aren't gonna try to lynch me, or that random shifty guy isn't going to stab me in the kidneys or that moderately cute indie chick isn't going to pick my pocket or that I'm not being targeted for a home invasion robbery by a gang of Russian mobsters. (I'm not usually that specific when it happens, but I admit that it wasn't difficult to come up with those examples) But what do you think? Paranoid or Prudent?


I also experience this "back burner" kind of fear that I've forgotten something important. Here's one example. At this job I have, we're not supposed to use the computer for "personal" business.  Check company email, work related program use and maybe news and weather if the t.v., which also happens to be only for news and weather, isn't enough! But I watch t.v. (and definitely not news and weather) and check my personal email and twitter and play Flash games and watch YouTube videos all the time. So, before I leave at the end of every shift, I clear the browser cache and search history, and leave the t.v. on The Weather Channel...after turning to CNN (can't forget about that pesky "recall"/"flashback" button). The thing is... I don't always remember doing it...so I have to do it two or three times before I'm comfortable that it's been done. And even then, I'll be driving home thinking "did I remember to clear the browser history?" 

Speaking of driving! When I get somewhere, I lock the door, then pull the door handle to make sure it's locked! Then I'll take a few steps, and have to go back and pull the handle again just to make sure...again! And don't get me started on Automatic Saves in video games! Or books! I'll use a bookmark, stick the dust cover in there AND dog-ear the page! I also have clothes and shoes ready to throw on in less than a minute if I need to get out of the house...and a knife ready to grab on my desk...and any number of other things "just in case" one thing or another happens! I'm not even going to pretend to know where all that comes from! But, Paranoid or Prudent?


So, yeah! That's not really even half of it, and most of it probably comes off as paranoid right off the top! But even though I can't think of a reason for doing some of those things, there's probably a good reason to do them! I can't wholly discount two good pieces of advice that apply! 1) It's better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it!  and 2) Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean somebody's not out to get you! But those are just my thoughts!

Now it's your turn! Comment! Do you think I'm just paranoid, or am I being prudent! Maybe discuss why! Is there anything that you do that might seem a bit paranoid?

p.s.  If I ever win the lottery, you KNOW my house is going to have a panic room!

Thoughts on friendship

I've spent the last few days thinking about friendship...and sex, but that's cuz I'm a guy and I WANT IT! I WANT IT NOW! But I digress. I have been thinking about friendship lately, and I wanted to share some of my thoughts. Now, I know that my last post was about death, and I don't want to get too depressing with this whole blog thing but, it did occur to me that I didn't have any friends until a few years ago! Let me explain!

What Are You Afraid Of

Fear! Besides the need to eat and the urge to satiate our carnal lust, it is the most present remnant of our animal nature. As this blog is largely about me and my opinions I figured I'd share with you, my most modest readership, my biggest fear. As I'm fairly sure most of us have shared this fear at some point in our lives, I'd like to begin by discussing...THE DARK!


Now, I'm not afraid of the dark, and I haven't been for a long time, but it's a starting point that I think we can all relate to. So, think back to when you were afraid of the dark (or just imagine for you select few weirdos). Remember that it wasn't actually the dark you were afraid of? You were scared of the things that were hiding in the dark. The monster under your bed (sure it was just dirty socks), the shapeless beast in your closet (also known as your winter coat). And woe be unto you if you had a tree outside your window during the winter. Street lights or other ambient light casting eerie shadows through your window that looked like the hands of a wicked witch reaching out to grab you. This fear of the dark, or rather the fear of what lurks in the dark is the one enduring similarity we have with our Paleolithic ancestors. And because our "fight or flight" response is so strange (it does the same thing whether you want to fight or flee) it is also the greatest motivating force of humanity... what is beyond what we see?

The Problem of Keeping a Schedule

I just realized that I was in danger of not posting to my blog for the entire month of September! (Insert Shocked Gasp Here). So, I've decided to fix that! It occurs to me that the lifeblood of web based content generators, be they bloggers or youtubers or Verified Accounts on Twitter, is consistency! You saw a great video or read a great blog post (aw shucks fellas, that's awful nice of ya but you... you... you weren't thinking that about me at all...were you? *sadface*) and you say to yourself, "Hey! That was great, I'd like to view/read more of that!" And the people who make a job out of doing stuff like this will give you more and, they'll give it to you regularly (giggity). The fellas over at Epic Meal Time and most of your favorite youtubers, keep cranking out new videos every week without fail! Because that's what you expect of them! Political and TV/Movie bloggers post almost every day of the week! So why is my schedule so non-schedule-esque?